It’s important to me
excuse me i need your leg
I told my brothers that if they weren’t going to start putting clothes on in the house, I was going to start going topless.
My mom: “Sure, why not?”
My 2nd brother: “We’ll turn to stone!”
My 1st brother: *Dives behind the couch* “Oh god no!”
My 3rd brother: “I might want to see that, actually.”
THESE ARE THE PEOPLE I LIVE WITH.
I didn’t ‘Friendzone’ him. I flat-out rejected his advances. I don’t want to date him. I don’t want to hang out with him. I will continue to be nice to him because that’s basic manners.
Do you ever just try breaking your fourth wall
Just in case
Not possi ble it is al ways a bout man all praise
44% of the audience of Guardians of the Galaxy is female and all the speculation states that women went to see it for Chris Pratt’s body. I don’t think that’s fair. Maybe (and this is crazy) they just like kickass movies with space shit and explosions. Maybe women can do things without men being their motivation. Maybe.
Dyed in the wool? Is that really something people still say? What century are you from
I was born in the year 1208, son of Adam de Kamerun, charter witness to the monks of Culpar. Granted the lands of Lochiel by The Lord of The Isles.
I was 22 when I discovered I descended from the Iscariot bloodline, and was cursed with the vampiric germ. I concealed my bloodlust by feeding on the fresh victims of Håkon the Old’s attack on Rothesay Castle.
I’ve been sliding through the shadows of time ever since… assuming the identities of my descendant’s family trees. When they come of my eternal age, I kill them off and assume their name, enlisting in all the Armies of history, where fresh warfare and bloodshed provides covert sustenance. I have circum-migrated the globe, fighting in war after water after nonstop war, always careful to cover my tracks. But I’ve been discovered now… all thanks to an antiquated colloquialism. I can’t believe I’ve gotten so sloppy.
After hearing a lot about people freaking out about how Super Smash Brothers is including an alternate outfit for zero-suit Samus that is essentially a crop top and booty shorts, I remember the good ‘ol days where people loved Samus in her full suit. So to play on the effect that Samus is just as attractive in suit and out, I designed this ‘pin-up’ version of Samus!
You can find the design for sale on RedBubble here- Pin-up Prime
Parent: “You won’t get away with that attitude/outfit/mannerism at your job, you know!”
That’s why I come home.
I think we could all use a tiny kitten on our screens from time to time.
ugh i love how his tail is just a triangle
IT’S TAIL IS A TRIANGLE
His front paws are like ‘stealth mode’ but is back ones are like ‘IT’S A JOLLY DAY IM OFF TO GO ON A WALK IN THE PARK’
(My five year old brother walks into the kitchen while I’m doing dishes.)
Him: “How do beavers celebrate their birthdays?”
Me: “They don’t. A beaver has little awareness of time as a linear measurement.”
Him: “Then how do they get old and die?”
Me: “You don’t need to be aware of something to be effected by it.”
*Puts on novelty glasses.*
“Look, I’m Mario!”
I want a superhero movie where the hero dies in the first ten minutes and the woman who was supposed to be the love interest puts on his costume and becomes an even better hero.
I want all of the advertising to be for the hero and none of the marketing to even allude to this death.
imagine all the male tears